surreptitiously cinnamon

The Unpleasantness of Being Brave

2012-02-05T19:51:00.001-08:00

I learned how to swim before I could walk. Water is the most calming force in my life. When I was in second grade my class got free swim lessons. Our district secured a grant for all of us to take swim lessons and diving lessons. I was ecstatic at the prospect. I was in my element during the swimming portion of the lessons. I felt competent and committed in the way that you only can when engaged in an activity that you were made to do. Then came the diving portion of the lesson.

This pool was Olympic regulation and the highest diving board seemed to me to be larger than any building I'd ever seen. I was selected to be the first to "dive off" the highest platform. Really what this meant is that the diving teacher would pick me up, tell me to stay straight as a pencil, and drop me into the water. I was selected because of my confidence in water. I climbed the board feeling a great sense of anticipation and excitement. Then I looked down. All of a sudden I felt Ike I was going to vomit. My body wanted to be as far away from the edge as humanly possible and as low to the ground. I knew that something major was at risk. I knew that by jumping I was risking something and it petrified me. What was interesting though was that I quickly realized that I could also not climb down the ladder without losing something. The whole class was watching and furthermore climbing down a ladder once you've realized how high you are is almost as scary as jumping off the board into the water. I had this acute sense of anger at myself for climbing onto the board thinking, "I could have just stayed on the ground where God intended me to be. I could be in the third row behind the other kids hiding out awaiting some other classmate's jump."

The diving teacher came and took my hand and said, "You do not have to jump, but I promise you that you will be okay and you'll always remember that before anyone else you jumped off the high dive. You'll remember that you were brave. You seem brave to me." I am sure that in that moment I did not seem brave, but I took his hand and let him hoist me over the board. I hung there little legs straight as a board. Before I knew it I whizzed through the air and was in the water. The impact reddened my legs and lit up my spirit. I felt like I had done something big. I knew that I had done something for myself. The decision was two-fold. I climbed the ladder and I made the jump.

Today I was reminded of this story. I had a conversation that has been at least a year and a half in the making. I found myself on the brink of bringing it up then would become ill. At one point I realized that I had already climbed the board. I could jump or I could do the labor intensive work of climbing down. I climbed up to the board the first time I shared something real about myself with this person. I took another step up the ladder when I began to regard their opinion highly. I took the next step when I began loving them. I realized that I've been on the board for a long time. For a moment I imagined that I might be able to climb down without anyone noticing. I no longer have a host of second graders bearing witness to my shame. I realized though that I have become my own second grade class bearing witness to myself. There is no hiding from yourself when you've decided to drop pretenses. I jumped. I brought up the dreaded topic. When I hit the water it stung and I was proud of myself for it. Who knows what will come of this recent small and specific act of abandon. What needs to unfold will.

Today I was reminded that we are never jumping alone even when we feel alone. We always have love hoisting us over the board. There is a choice. We can decide to never climb up the ladder. We can decide to climb back down. We can jump. After quite some time of living in fear of the climb and of the jump I am pleased to share that I remembered that I climb the ladder. I was reminded that I jump.

to a younger woman

2011-11-30T16:19:00.000-08:00

i'm home sick with strep throat and it's snowing outside. what a perfect excuse for an afternoon blog post. a letter to my 15 year old self inspired by sugar's letter to her younger self.

sweet girl,

you are about to fall in love. relish that. your first love is a roller coaster. be an idiot. it is the first time in your life that you will be called to dig deeply into your insecurities. it is the first time you will feel you are a version of yourself apart from your family. when he says i will love you forever and then some believe him. later when then some has passed be grateful that for a time you stood under orion's starry belt and believed that you would have only one love in your life. hold that idea like an old woman holds a weathered photograph of her pregnant form. you will spend years wondering about this love and what it meant and what it means for future relationships. this is partly because you are young and naive. it is partly because you are you, uniquely designed to weigh, measure, and fortify memories. let it breathe. let to go. there is nothing wrong with the progression of the heart. be wild in your consumption of adoration.

you will always love water even after the 6am water polo practices are only distant memories. spend as much time in the ocean as you can; you will not always live near it. don't spend too much time thinking about leaving. the sea is your first great love even proceeding the aforementioned adorable boy who will give you a bracelet among other things with your name, first and middle, engraved on it. you will return to the ocean methodically. it will be your metronome of self. sand and sea are blessings you cannot escape.

when you walk around the park that day in july eating raspados with your ponytail askew and your shin guards flopping around your cleats walk slowly by each tree, over each uneven slab of concrete to the place where your friend stood laugh and speak loudly over the music. don't ever be drowned out by anyone's music unless of course what it has to say is more important.

watch your brother sleep. remember everything he says. learn about joy through his reactions to the world.

when your english teacher asks you to join the cheerleading team because they need girls with good grades it is okay to say no even though she is exquisite in your mind. you have never been nor will you ever be a cheerleader. your teacher will still become one of the most important women in your life. down the road a young woman you've poured into will put into words to you what you always wanted to say to that teacher, "thank you for knowing that who i am is infinitely more interesting than who the world suggests i should be. thank you for fighting for my mind."

when somewhere down the road you find yourself in your first college dorm and a boy spends an hour talking to you about your hopes and dreams and how your hair really does look like light on the sea at dawn do not arrogantly presume that because you are from a rough neighborhood you have everyone's number down and he is a flirt without substance. he will later surprise you with one of the most meaningful friendships of your young life.

keep loving on people the way you do. never doubt that wisdom. be brave in your friendships. you will be called into bravery many times in the years to come. face those times with conviction, laughter, and a belief that forgiveness is the great victor. sweet girl, forgive all the time the large and small pains. you will learn to tattoo forgiveness onto your palms everyday. your faith will run like a living red ribbon through your veins, a more glorious option than blood. do not resist any of this.

when far down the road you realize you have lost touch with los angeles and its people, your people, do not be afraid to reach out. life is a winding river that sometimes comes full circle. do not fear the circle.

when, in your freshman year of college, you have strep throat do not hesitate to share a room with a girl who also has strep throat on the dorm ski trip. you will lay in bed together sick and discuss jane austen. others will find it amusing and photo worthy. late at night your throat will be burning so badly you're crying and she will be equally feverish. do not be afraid to pray together. this girl will become your one of your best friends in the world.

in a few years from now you will walk out of a friday afternoon practice with a body drained from a distance swim, eyes burning with chlorine, and mind fatigued from competition. do not forget on this day to go and visit your best friend who is not feeling well. do not forget to bring her a get well present because she loves presents. her room is a shrine to color. do not forget to brush her thick black hair so long you could live in it. do not leave the room without talking to her about your boyfriend and how she is sprung for the introverted Russian boy with an older brother so beautiful that he reminded you of snow. etch into your mind the calla lily rosary she has taken to bed with her and rests between her thumb and middle finger as she spells out all the details of how she wants to kiss the Russian. do not forget to do any of this. on monday she'll be dead.

wear her ring everyday on your middle finger until the years and mornings spent sleeping instead of swimming have rounded you out and you must move the ring to another finger. do not fear this. do not put away the ring for the fear of the flesh. your body and soul will round with time as you move away from girl and to woman. this is natural. do not waste time or creativity on the fruitless pursuit of a perfect body. dear sweet girl, love your precious fingers.

when you are 26 you will be showering. it will be snowing outside. you will not be living in los angeles. your breath will unfurl against the cold air. you will submerge in heat, water, and lather. this same ring will catch your hair tugging at the tangled mess of waves. you will think of your job, the time sheets unsigned, the patient returning with a question, and the coffee pot left out. you will think of the man you love as a brother, or a friend, or a lover, or something in-between. for a moment as your hair grips your ring you will think of this best friend and her long unruly mane. you will think back to when she died and you could not speak to anyone. you could only manage a shower letting the water's weight and monologue move you from one life to the next.

sweet girl, do not forget water will always be your vector to self.

photo: me at age 15 before a water polo away game with blue lipstick

autumn list

2011-11-15T08:54:00.001-08:00

this fall i am:

waiting to hear back from grad schools.
appreciating my new roommate.
loving the fall colors.
drinking many, many cups of coffee.
visiting my sf family.
thinking about new mexico.
walking my lake.

here are a few shots of colorado fall.

holy mother of sauciness and the like

2011-10-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

that is an excessively indulgent title for a post, yet it has to be said that this is an excessively indulgent recipe. it's simple. it makes almost any pie better. it makes almost any day brighter. it makes almost any waist wider.

this is not for the faint of heart. it is not for the feverish dieter or the concerned citizen. it's for the long days. it's for when you want to say, "honey you are so dang handsome that i've decided to pour heaven all over your food." it's that type of sauce.
Fixings:

1 stick butter softened, but not melted
1 to 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
2 Tbl Whiskey or Kahlua (whiskey is best unless the dessert you're heaping it on has chocolate as a primary ingredient)

Mixings:
Mix the butter until it's fluffy and add the sugar slowly. Then mix in the booze. Heap on top of pie or any other food of your choosing.

It can be stored in the fridge for later indulgences.

Thank you Ree Drummond!

Halloween Cup 2012

2011-09-26T20:38:00.000-07:00

yesterday one of my closest friends in denver moved with her new hubby to the east coast. i'm happy she'll be in the fall new england glory, but i'm going to miss her a lot. at her going away sleep over she brought up a most excellent idea that i will share here as i think that many people should adopt the idea of the halloween cup. the concept and origin are listed below:
why: my friend for one of her going away gifts got a large trophy that reads, "best halloween costume". she loves dressing up. it was fitting and generally awesome. something has to be done with it.
what/when: the idea is that there will be an annual get together on the weekend closest to halloween to compete for this trophy among our friends. the inaugural cup will begin in 2012. i am very excited. perhaps unreasonably excited. note the fervor with which my friends and i embrace dressing up below (and above).
where: each year the party will be thrown by the person who won the cup the year before. next year it will be at my friends house in Connecticut. then whoever wins it hosts the next party.
how: how will i contain myself until next halloween? unanswered question....

do you have fun holiday traditions?

photos: jedi ballerina and retro virus (had to be there), not quite sure...any occasion to wear that gold skirt, nymphs for beltane...yes beltane, tuesday dinner in college, rainbow bright, because it's always a good idea to dress up and sing on tables, the cook crew at sierra camp 2006.

love train, august 27th 2011

2011-09-02T21:38:00.000-07:00

this past weekend my dear friend tamra got married to jeff. they fell in love last year in the great state of colorado. they are wonderful people and had a wonderful wedding.

it was unique as they are unique. it was on a train in leadville, one of the highest altitude towns in the USA. we made merry in our beautiful mountains. congrats tamra and jeff; we love your love.

some shots of the day.

patience and pork

2011-04-06T17:53:00.000-07:00

well hello blogosphere. it's been a while. perhaps we should have titled this post "naughty bloger number we're not counting anymore because it's been too many times".

my kitchen is all a flury. upon arriving home from a dinner date with a dear friend i began preparing to make pork tenderloin in the slow cooker. there is a back story as is true with any recipe worth making.

pork and i have a tenuous relationship. i like to think that i abhor pork. i write off my love of bacon and sausage as mere flukes. however, there is a recipe that i found recently embedded in the pages of a used book that lives on a particularly disorganized bookshelf titled "great literature" in a particularly eccentric book shop near my house. the book perported to be about the history of early denver, but was mostly about buffalo bill and the controversy over his gravesite. oh joy.

the book's main secret was this recipe. it was written on old paper by hand and was barely legible. it called for a boiling pot, but i interpreted that to mean a slow cooker. i have set out to recreate the recipe tonight. somehow i think that when i eat it tomorrow with friends we will step into a trance like food coma portal and come to understand a world in which books about buffalo bill's gravesite are high literature. needless to say i cannot wait.

hopefully the slow cooker will melt the pork into submission. i do not have the patience or time for tough meat.

i will report back tomorrow on the success of the dish and whether it is as delightful an experience as the finding of its recipe card was.

here's wishing you a wonderful night and one that hopefully includes old books, good friends, and a slow cooker.

photocredit: {ree drummon}

for the love of elephant seals among other things

2011-02-03T18:34:00.001-08:00

hello duckies,

for those of you east of the rocky mountains i hope you are staying warm and inside away from the storm.

as anyone who has read this blog probably has gleaned: i really like ruminating on the concept of place. i love getting to know the places i'm in and exploring it's various seasonal and cultural offerings.

i have fallen for the city of denver and the state of colorado.this was a surprise. i came here thinking that i would enjoy it, but long constantly and consistently for california. this has pleasantly not been the case.

however some days i really miss my first love: california. i miss the colors and sounds of la and the way that light filters in across the san francisco bay. i miss my friends and communities in ca. i miss that the worst weather i might encounter would be a 40 degree rainy day.

maybe more than anything (after my people), i miss the ocean. i'm an ocean lady. it's just that simple. today on my drive home in the slush and snow i thought of how the oceanwould always calm my nerves. i channeled the blustery northern california beach and pressed on feeling revived.

tonight i miss california something awful. i'm a touch ridiculous. it's like i'm greiving a past lover. i'm in colorado and loving it, but days like this remind me that i'm of california, made of sand, light, water, city, salt, poppies, eucalyptus, long coastal drives, and raspados...le sigh.

in my unfolding romance with place california, you take the cake.

winter rising

2011-01-31T18:22:00.000-08:00

it's snowy and very cold today. icy winds have blown in and the streets are full of urban slush. tonight i'm honoring winter by thinking about my favorite winter place: taos. isn't it beautiful?

whenever i start to feel that winter is grundgy and gross i think of the magic of adobe, snow, sky, and chili.

in honor of tonight i'm having green chilis. yum.

goodbye 2010, hello 2011

2010-12-31T18:10:00.000-08:00

"I am older than I once was, and younger than I’ll be.
That’s not unusual.
It isn’t strange,
after changes upon changes, we are more or less the same.
After changes, we are more or less the same."

so on this very freezing new year's eve while i sit watching my stew boil and drinking my hot chocolate i am thinking about three things:

1. one of my very best friends that turned 26 today. it's amazing when you really think about it how we walk through so many different experiences and grow each year, but some things remain the same in each of us. i'm so glad for the things that remain constant in her. happy birthday valen.

2.this past year: i could go on and on about it, but suffice it to say that it's been a year of supreme challenges, great gifts, and huge growth. the highlights have been my relationships, my growing love of colorado, my growing knowledge of and ability to work with the homeless population, and my appreciation for who i am.

3. the coming year: i am hoping for simple things this year. i wish to openly and honesty embrace the experiences in my life; to be proactively healthy; to grow in wisdom, love, and bravery; to move closer towards grad school; to develop my pancake making skills; to move in to one of two neighborhoods in denver lined with brick homes and adorable shops; to spend significantly more time in the mountains; and lastly to ground myself daily in the life that i am blessed enough to have. yes my goals span from the mundane to the amorphous.

2010, it's been real.

photocredit: {Brendan McCarthy} ....photo recap of the year coming tomorrow!

carmelized apple quiche, dried herbs on the line, babies at the door

2010-10-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

halloween.

dried herbs,

pumpkins,

the scariest haunted house of all time. fortunately for me one of my best friends held my hand the whole time. wowza...my nervous system is not cut out for haunted houses.

the denver botanical gardens,

ham and apple quiche,

pie,

munchkins knocking at the door,

and some practical magic, yes i love this movie. it's shameful and i don't care. i do not like scary witches or sprightly pastel colored witches, but i'm a sucker for the brand of witch that lives in a big old house by the ocean, is an off the book botanist, bakes big crusty loaves of bread, is clarvoyant, and drinks a little too much red wine. yes this is my type of witch and thus...practical magic.

hope you have a lovely halloween duckies.

West Virginia, on my mind

2010-09-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

hi all,

so as a disclaimer, i love sports movies. i'm not sure why, but a good sports movie gets me everytime. i'm not saying i don't love a good romantic comedy, but when i really want to indulge and need a crying night i turn on a rise from the ashes sports saga...

tonight i watched We Are Marshall. it is the story of the 1970 Marshall University Football team that died in a plane crash. needless to say, it's heartbreaking, but i found its portrayal of ptsd, community grief, and hope compelling. it is a true story and i loved it.

there we go. i'm a sappy sports gal. it's just reality. we can't do anything about it.

the movie made me want to visit west virginia. i forget that west virginia is called the playground of the southeast.

i hope someday i get to revel in this southern beauty.

shimmer me timbers

2010-09-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

fall is here. the aspens are turning to gold. they shimmer and quake rhythmically. it's as if all the little anxious trees shaking from fear of winter found each other and discovered some peace in their vocal harmony. it's the colorful song of autumn.

i like to stand under the trees and imagine the world saying, "here is this gift. change seems scary and you've had so much of it this year, but look in the most transitional of seasons i'm bringing you this remarkable show of beauty."

in our ever pivoting existence i'm glad that fall is beautiful. change makes me shake and quake like an aspen and i find an undeniable sense of community in the shared experiences of all my fellow aspen trees making their shocking and inevitable movement from one season to the next...

so good night world. here is to autumnal gold.

to italia

2010-08-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

tomorrow one of my best friends embarks on his italian journey. he is attending one of the most prestigious grad schools in the US and will spend his first year in italy. here's a blog post toast to one of the better people in my world.

toast to good food, amazing friends, language and learning, new adventures, the romans, amazing wine, and i shall revisit good food...

and also a toast to skype and google voice thingy dingy that is coming out soon.

we will miss you stateside, but wish you all things magical and wonderful.

in the coming years

2010-08-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

i hope to:

visit greece,aka the motherland...

move closer to my workplace so i can use my cruiser bike to go to work daily...

start my graduate education...

become a swimmer again...

more fully establish becca's bitchin stitchen...

photocredits:{cupofjo, brittany'sspainblog, midwifery}

swimming pool

2010-08-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

my friend shared this video with me. it is a pool scene from the simple and truthful show Parenthood. it's a show about how bizarre and dysfunction and important families really are whether it is the family we're born into or the family we make. water is important in my family and so this resonated. sit back and delight in this slippery snippet.

there is just something really profound about swimming.

jacaranda

2010-08-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

the rain is pouring down on the frontrange this evening. i am eating rosemary bread and feta watching the rain fall. as you might have noticed i've been feeling nostalgic. today i'm reflecting on the jacaranda tree.

they were the first tree that i ever loved. they are a bright beauty beacon on the streets of los angeles. every year i waited for their two blooming seasons. it was my own version of autumn. jacaranda trees= becca's seasonal magic.

many a childhood daydream involved building a house in the branches of a jacaranda. as i grew older i found out that the jacaranda tree also represents international maternal health. in countries like brazil, australia, kenya, and new zealand small clinics plant jacaranda trees to celebrate women's health and successful births.

it's really a lovely tree. here's wishing you a breezy afternoon picnic under a violently violet blooming jacaranda.

buffalo by the sea

2010-08-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

i'm stuffed full of bruschetta and laying on my couch thinking about my coming week. tomorrow morning i will wake up and get ready for work. i will make coffee and hopefully motivate enough to go visit my local florist and pick up some flowers for a co-worker. although i'm looking forward to my morning routine i can't help but wish i was waking up on catalina island, specifically on a cove called campus by the sea.

it is a magical place where my parents worked when i was a child. we spent most of our time living in inner-city los angeles, but every year i spent around two months on the desert island of catalina frolicking among the jacaranda trees. it's a place where after a day your skin tastes like salt and your hair is full of eucalyptus residue. it's an island where buffalo (yes buffalo) live and come down to the shore around dawn.

the cove is a faith based conference center. there was not much quiet time in my los angeles life since my home also served as a community center. at cbs i learned to be still. i was an explorer, a pirate, an artist...it was my magical place where all the noise, crime, and injustice my child eyes witnessed daily could be processed and released. it is the place i learned the meaning of micah 6:8. it is where i learned to meditate and pray and it is where i have come after great disappointments to practice release and forgiveness.

i have a vivid memory of waking up and looking outside my cabin to see a buffalo down by the water. it was dawn and i was in love with the sea, with the buffalo, with the island...

although i am grateful to have a job to go to tomorrow i can't help but wish that i was waking up to a buffalo by the sea.

garden bruschetta

2010-08-08T19:41:00.001-07:00

Tonight i made a recipe for dinner very similar to the one posted last week. My garden is producing with shocking efficiency and I'm hard pressed to eat all these vegetables. If you are equally fortunate and find yourself with a silly amount of squash make this...it's worth eating. Feel free to vary the recipe. I'm a messy cook and encourage creativity when it comes to bruschetta. Bruschetta is not boring.

garden bruschetta
2 zucchini
1 yellow summer squash (or three yellow squash and no zucchini)
5 tomatoes (any color...the more varied the better)
3 small eggplants or 1 large eggplant
1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese grated
1 whole sweet onion
Coat the bottom of the pan in an inch of olive oil
Half a loaf of french bread (I like to use rosemary french bread)
2 garlic cloves

Instructions:
Chop the onion into crescent moon slices
Slice the eggplant into skinny slices, sprinkle salt on them and set them aside
Slice the squash into thin quarter circles and set them aside
Heat up the olive oil in a cast iron skillet
Put the onions into the skillet and brown them at a high temperature
Turn the heat down and keep caramelizing the onions
Wipe the "sweat" off the eggplant slices
Turn the heat up and throw the eggplant slices into the skillet
Let them brown for a minute then turn the heat to a medium temperature
Add half a cup of water and cover the skillet with a lid (watch the eggplants and onions to make sure they don't burn)
While this is cooking, slice the tomatoes into small bits
Uncover the skillet and make sure the eggplant slices are cooked through. Add salt to taste and black pepper.
Add the squash to the mixture and cover it back up.
Chop up the fresh oregano and basil into small bits.
After letting the whole mess cook for about 5 minutes add the tomatoes and cook for 3-6 minutes.
Add some more salt. Add the herbs. Add the cheese. Put the stove on warm and let the veggies stew.
Take it off the oven and put it all in the fridge until it cools down.

Bread Instructions

When the veggies are chilled...
Slice the bread into thin slices
Dice the garlic and brown it in olive oil
Turn on the oven to 450 degrees
Once the garlic is browned use a cooking brush or spatula to spread the oil and garlic onto the bread.
Sprinkle some Parmesan on the bread.
Put her in the oven for 4-5 minutes until golden brown and delectable.

Put the cold veggies on the warm garlic toast and savor. Tastes great with red wine...

love you, hate you pancakes

2010-08-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

tonight i'm having breakfast for dinner. it's one of my self comfort rituals. as i stand here in my kitchen brewing coffee, listening to bacon sizzle and thunder crash, and stirring pancake dough i am reflecting on my dysfunctional relationship with pancakes.

with me and pancakes it's a love/hate thing.

i love the way that pancake dough bubbles and sizzles as it hits the greased pan.

i hate the way that sometimes pancakes taste like the love child of stale sourdough bread and cardboard.

i love the way an amazing pancake doused in syrup can cure any bad mood.

i hate that 1 plate of pancakes = 1 new lovely lady lump on my rump

i love that pancakes seem to be like pie in their ability to unite a room of people no matter what the differences or conflicts within a group. if i ever become i diplomat i shall use pancakes...griddle and butter treaty of 2010.

i love that when i make pancakes my desire to own a small breakfast place is quenched enough so that i don't do something rash like quitting my job and attempting to open up a restaurant in my living room.

pancakes, i love you more than i hate you. what more could i ask for really?

*best pancakes in denver: here and here

Awesome Pancake Recipe:
* 3 cups Plus 2 Tablespoons Cake Flour
* ½ teaspoons Salt
* 3 Tablespoons Baking Powder
* 2 Tablespoons Sugar (brown or white, I prefer brown)
* 2 cups Milk
* 2 Eggs
* 3 teaspoons Vanilla
* 1 teaspoon cinnamon
* 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
* 1/2 cup of walnuts
* 3-5 Tablespoons Butter
* More Butter
* Syrup

Mix together dry ingredients in large bowl.

Mix together milk, eggs, and vanilla in a separate bowl.

Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients, stirring until just combined.

Melt butter and add it to the batter.

Cook on a greased skillet until golden brown.

Apply syrup. I will not judge you if you pour it on.

pancakes inspired by ree drummond's recipe...thank you lovely cook!

my great love of basil

2010-08-03T18:58:00.001-07:00

i'm having a bit of a moment with pesto. we've been having moments like these my whole life. they are sweet, tangy, and passionate. i love pesto.

hope you all enjoy this simple scrumptuous recipe:

4 cups basil leaves, well packed
4 cloves garlic, lightly crushed and peeled
1 cup pine nuts or walnuts (or a combination of the two)
1-1/2 cups freshly grated Parmigiano Reggiano or Pecorino cheese (or a combination of the two)
1-1/2 cups extra-virgin olive oil
salt and pepper to taste

magic tips: i prefer to use walnuts and for extra special flare add a tablespoon of honey. trust me, it's incredible.

also, if you're a vegan you don't have to run like the wind from this one. just take out the cheese and add some more nuts. it's a fabulous vegan treat.

shiver me timbers

2010-08-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

today my office is freezing. our cooler is on over drive to compensate for the heat wave. it's a pleasant break from the scorching sun. i'm drinking hot cocoa and dreaming about winter.

if any of you are similarly chilly and wanting something sweet and hot try the best hot cocoa recipe!

mid year check in

2010-08-01T18:30:00.000-07:00

it is not the new years, but given we've just finished the steamy month of july i'm thinking that i'd like to commit to some basic concepts in the next six months and it helps to put them in writing. let's see how i do...

1. do something active everyday.
2. eat more vegetables and bake more pie.
3. conquer my debt/money phobias methodically.
4. make art weekly.
5. go swimming more.
6. organize my grad school process.
7. Practice this.
8. practice photography and writing.

ready, set, go!!!

what are your mid-year goals?

photocredit:{reedrummond}

forgiveness

2010-08-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

today i went swimming in a lake. i'm an ocean girl and comically the state park dubbed the softened dirt area adjacent to the lake as a "beach". i scoffed judgmentally at this affront to true beaches. internally i thought, "oh how disappointing to not be at the 'real' beach." for those of you who know me i have an abnormal love of the ocean.

as i sat down on the beach and the gentle mountain breeze danced around me a great deal of my weekly stress melted away. i plunged my toes into the lake water thinking that it might not be quite as satisfying as immersing myself in the salty wondrous ocean, but was pleasantly surprised. the cold rocky mountain water shocked me right out of my coastal judgments. i was delighted by the way the water took me in and realized the absurdity of me placing judgment or attributing disappointment to this lovely lake. how ridiculous was it that i was projecting negative feelings on a body of water that has no obligation to the world besides for existing fluidly in its natural location.

while swimming in the lake and realizing that perhaps my love of water is not sea bound, i reflected on forgiveness. i work in mental health and everyday speak with so many people who have suffered greatly and often unjustly. their lives and dilemmas are nuanced, yet it seems that there is a simple line separating those who can move on and thrive vs. those who cannot move beyond their issues. the bottom line seems to be forgiveness.

the twisted roots of resilience are fed by forgiveness. are we able to forgive people who have wronged us? are we able to let go of disappointment and anger? when confronted with even the simplest of experiences, like my encounter with soda lake, can we unbind ourselves from our judgments and let the experience wash over us? when a disease is eating away at our very physical being can we fight it with dedication and drive without being consumed by hatred and resentment? can we forgive world systems that oppress us or those we love while still advocating against them? can we be forgiven? perhaps most importantly, can we forgive ourselves for self-elements that are disappointing or unsavory? can we be healers?

these are big questions. these are cliche questions.these are very real questions. there is not a simple answer to any of them. some days i wake up and am quite good at letting go and being open to what life brings me. some days i throw little internal tantrums and feel that i must deserve some large prize for my trivial issues. i think most days i just do my best to embrace the people, images, and ideas in my life since it's a pretty precious experience to be living.

the stanford univeristy forgiveness project studies how the ability to let go and make peace with the various troubles in our lives promotes not only mental health, but cardiovascular health as well. although holding anger and entitlement seems to be a natural, it is not healthy for us.

i do not have the answer about how to forgive or how to move forward. all i know is that it requires a great deal of honesty and dedication to breathing deeply, to seeing what is amazing in your life, to empathizing with others, and to doing something that adds a little beauty to your community.

that is all for now. thanks for reading the stream of consciousness post. wishing everyone out there a healthy heaping dose of forgiveness pie...

photos: from another stress releiving trip i took to the denver botanical gardens this week...

summer garden stir fry=biscuit and gravy antidote

2010-08-01T14:09:00.001-07:00

the colorado summer heat and afternoon rainstorms have helped me a grow a healthy summer veggie garden. this weekend i decided to apologize to my stomach for biscuit friday by making a colorful concoction.

if you are looking for a festive and easy dish, this one might be for you.

ingredients:
brown rice
summer squash (green, yellow)
tomatoes (as many types as you like)
onion
garlic (to taste)
olive oil
chicken
eggplant (japanese or greek)
fresh basil
fresh oregano
fresh mint

first steps
take the eggplant and slice it into thin strips. lay the strips out and put salt on
them. this draws out the bitter tannins (let them sit with salt for 30 minutes).

chop the squash into thin discs and let sit. slice larger tomatoes down and leave cherry tomatoes intact (dish tastes especially good with yellow boy and brandywine tomatoes)

dice the garlic and onions. heat olive oil and saute the garlic and onions. keep them at a low heat from around 15-20 minutes until caramelized.

slice chicken into thin strips. brown and cook with some of the already cooked onions and garlic.

at the same time add the squash and eggplants to the onion and garlic mix (will need too frying pans for this dish). let them cook without water for about five minutes. then add a splash of water to the mix and turn down the heat to a 4 and cover the pan. stir about every three minutes and add black pepper.

add salt and pepper to the chicken and right before it finishes add fresh basil, oregano, and mint. also throw in the tomatoes. let the concoction stew in the chicken juices at a low heat for around 5 minutes.

the vegetable dish should take about 10 minutes after you add water and cover it. make sure the eggplant is thoroughly cooked.

add the chicken to the vegetables and sprinkle salt on the top. add another handful of fresh basil and mint. serve by itself or over brown rice and...wha la...dinner is served!

indulge yourself: biscuits and gravy

2010-07-29T22:59:00.001-07:00

this is not a healthy recipe. let me repeat, run quickly away from me this morning if you're seeking fiber, antioxidants, or anything to do with the acai berry.

run. but stay if you like butter. take your boots off if you like sausage. stretch out on the couch if you like breakfast sandwiches and make yourself part of the family if you like to pour gravy all over it.

so these biscuits are simple:

take a roll of hot pork sausage. slice it into thin circular pies. add salt and pepper.

melt a little oil in a pan. throw the patties in the pan. cook until brown.

while browning meat take a roll of biscuits (grands, pillsbury) and put them in the oven. drizzle honey on the top of them before cooking. don't judge yourself too harshly for using store bought biscuits. let's face it they're damn good.

put patties away to cool a bit. use the meat residue and oil left in the pan. keep it on medium heat and add pepper, salt, and two tablespoons of flour. after about a minute the consistency should be thick. add a splash of milk and keep stirring until the gravy darkens in color.

take the biscuits, the sausage, and the gravy and do what you must with the delicious mess.

inspirationphotocredit: {reedrummond}

san francisco

2010-07-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

this past weekend i hopped on a jet plane, well two actually, and traveled to the magical city of san francisco. highlights included:

sharing a meaningful place with mister p who incidentally will be quite peeved when reading that i am calling him mister p.

having tea with two of my best friends at lovejoys, loveliest tea room in the city.

taking in the beauty of china town

basking in the bay.

being part of my friends' wedding day. it took place in a redwood grove. how fitting to give vows in a space with such history, life, and lasting power.

it was an amazing trip.

i flew home full up on love of city, friends, and life.

le sigh

2010-07-26T19:02:00.000-07:00

this weekend i put on my traveling shoes and went on vacation. last night i flew back into denver. i was in one of my favorite cities in the world visiting some of my favorite people in the world with my guy. i was a little worried that i would not want to come back. i miss the light of this city and its architecture. i miss its people and my people contained within its borders.

it was a pleasant surprise to find myself only a bit teary flying home thinking "well that was lovely, but i'm happy to going home." it's amazing when you wake up one day and realize that you have developed a new home and there is space enough in your heart and mind to hold both new and old.

le sigh. now i will nap and attempt to sort through my once organized clothing drawers. more to come on vacation photos soon!

the problem with hipster babies

2010-07-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

today i am appreciating hipster babies. these minuscule representations of their parents are pretty darn adorable eating their ice cream cones and playing with their hand carved toys.

i do wonder though, how will these children ever surpass the stylishness of their toddler existence? is it possible? upon hitting puberty will this yippie generation reject the urban boho vibe of their parents? will they instead opt for studded jean jackets, oversized t-shirts with wildlife prints, and tommy bahama shorts?

will they frequent walmart instead of the local thrift shop? are the hipsters breeding a generation of children that will in their teenage years turn the tables and embrace the corporate, the tacky, or even worse valley girl chic?

i guess we'll have to see. for now at least, they are adorable in their bamboo fabric shirts and skinny jeans with badonkadonk design spacious enough for their earth baby compostable diapers.

oh hipster babies. you've won me over.

photocredit: {kittysanchez}

dock of the bay

2010-07-21T22:01:00.001-07:00

tonight i cannot sleep. i'm excited about my journey. sometimes when i can't sleep i think about fallen leaf lake in south lake tahoe california.

isn't it lovely?

simplicity, embrace me

2010-07-20T17:39:00.000-07:00

hello all,

i write from my kitchen table as the sound of rain pitter patters the deck. we are in the midst of a magnificent and much appreciated summer thunder storm.

i've been thinking a lot about simplicity recently. how hard is it be just live a simple life? i think ideally it would be easy.

clear the physical, mental, and emotional clutter. grow, appreciate, sustain, learn, and love. i'm going to try and live more simply. not that i lead an extravagant life by any means, but i would like to intentionally spend more time just being still and doing simple projects.

for example, i am enamored of this butter churner. how nice to make your own butter. better yet how amazing would it be to milk the cows contributing to this thick delicious spread. i recognize it's a utopian fantasy and that the minute i actually had to churn butter i would grow weary of it and head down to safeway. the churner would probably turn into a vase or some receptacle for lentils. ah fantasies. i am much enamored of milk maids.

do any of you struggle to live simply?

fondly,

your very own aspiring dairy queen

a thought

2010-07-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

some poemish passages, much like "Footprints", are overplayed. i recognize the below passage lives in cliche land, but i can't help how much i like it. the words and the sentiment ground me.

God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.
-Reinhold Niebuhr

photocredit:{brasilphotos}

run bravely

2010-07-14T05:28:00.000-07:00

it's a day for this...

i love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. life's a bitch. you've got to go out and kick ass.

and...

i long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.

thanks maya angelou...

photocredit: {latartinegourmade}

i'm leaving on a grey hound louisiana bound

2010-07-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

happy tuesday evening duckies,

as many of you know i work at a homeless and near homeless outreach center in the front range of the rockies. today our center's lobby was a colorful canvas comprised of families clutching their leases visiting us for rental assistance, formerly middle class workers accessing our food bank in a desperate move to limit costs so they don't lose their homes, teen lovers, and our chronic homeless clients who are as much a part of our neighborhood's fabric as the outline of the rocky mountains west of our small community.

it was a normal bustling day. perhaps the most pervasive sound though was the buzz from our homeless clients about the mass influx of jobs being advertised in louisiana and texas. usually our chronically homeless clients have a defeated look in their eyes. even though they are remarkably resilient, you can look at their faces and see a road map of their struggles with finances, street life, mental illnesses and very often substance abuse. today every man i spoke with who grasped the green jobs to help clean up the oil spill flyer was lit up. all of a sudden there are thousands of jobs available along the gulf. many of these men have never left colorado and have spent the vast majority of their adult life in one city and now they are getting ready to pick up and move

many of the men had secured funding from churches to buy grey hound tickets down south. they are leaving with the packs on their backs and the hope that maybe with a job that is part of a movement all the pain and dramatic monotony of street life will be washed away. i am excited for them. i am happy that there are jobs and i left work today with the hope that these jobs will pan out and that these men who so desperately seek community and meaning will find some peace down south. i also left worried for their health. these jobs are being mass advertised in low-income communities around the country. poor and often immuno-compromised populations are swarming down to a highly toxic waste site.

so tonight, sending out a good thought for all the people who are packing up their lives and moving to the gulf. may their journeys be safe, their work be effective and well received, their bodies protected, and their spirits be lifted...

photocredit: {oilspillphotos, gulfspill, studiomunophotography, julieharrisphotography}

the un-secret garden

2010-07-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

in the heart of my city lives a compact, colorful, and fragrant paradise. walking into the garden reminds me of embarking on the second chapter of book that will become beloved. i immediately loose touch with reality and submerge. when i dive head first into fantastic foliage, the terrific tundra, and the tantalizing tropical conservatory i see...

snogging and the like

2010-07-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

the wind if blowing, the rain is falling, the heat is rising up from the pavement inflating my skirt. it is a colorado afternoon.

i spent my morning at the denver botanical gardens, which is one of the lovelier gardens i have ever visited. it is full of fragrance, color, texture, and today it held the vows of many young couples.

a few of the smaller gardens were closed and housing weddings. i peeked through gnarly bonsai like tree to spy on a lovely wedding of a man and a woman. each member of the couple said their vows and then their young daughter also said vows to her parents.

my favorite line:

mommy and daddy, i promise to help with dinner. i promise to love you and let you love me even when i am angry at you.

photocredit: {eric cousineau}

tattoo

2010-07-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

i am contemplating a tattoo...what do we think. it would be subtle, simple, and strategically placed...

any suggestions?

tattocredit:{betsydunlap}

(you are the daughter of the sea)

2010-07-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

this is one of my favorite poems in the whole world. my friend sent it to me during a particularly hard week and it reminded me of all the things i love best.

You are the daughter of the sea, oregano's first cousin.
Swimmer, your body is pure as the water;
cook, your blood is quick as the soil.
Everything you do is full of flowers, rich with the earth.

Your eyes go out toward the water, and the waves rise;
your hands go out to the earth and the seeds swell;
you know the deep essence of water and the earth,
conjoined in you like a formula for clay.

Naiad: cut your body into turquoise pieces,
they will bloom resurrected in the kitchen.
This is how you become everything that lives.

And so at last, you sleep, in the circle of my arms
that push back the shadows so that you can rest--
vegetables, seaweed, herbs: the foam of your dreams.

-neruda

healing hot springs

2010-07-10T15:12:00.000-07:00

i've been spending a lot of time daydreaming recently about potential trips to hot springs. nothing sounds better than abandoning responsibilities, grabbing a bathing suit and a bottle of wine, meeting up with a best friend and heading to the hot springs.

water is such therapy.

photocredit: {seetwists}

have a lovely weekend

2010-07-09T21:08:00.000-07:00

it has been a long week for me. this weekend i intend to:

go to our local farmer's market and have a biscuit from the handy biscuit truck. what a brilliant idea. also i'm dreaming about another brilliant idea.

walk along a pretty river.

wash my hair with baking soda.

appreciate gardens.

drink coffee with my family.

have park time

and finally i will continue to plan a fantasy minibreak with my best friend. i am fantasizing that we will meet up in new mexico and lounge around in healing hot springs melting away all our stresses and the many miles between us!

good weekend, ready, set, go!

hope everyone else has adventures planned...

photocredit: {wildflowersphotography}

simplicity

2010-07-09T05:33:00.000-07:00

Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.

~Arundhati Roy

photocredit: {eduardtitov}

pocketful of pie

2010-07-08T23:24:00.000-07:00

tomorrow i have a lot to accomplish before noon. it will also be raining again and i'll be wearing a green coat with big pockets. i wish i had little mini pies to fill my pockets with.

pie is my cocaine.

photocredit:{piesearch}

for the love of brie

2010-07-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

tonight i'm laying in bed. it is raining. i am shamefully watching the bachelorette. i am wishing that:

1. i had the resolve to turn this show off and do something more edifying than this like reading, or cooking, or blow drying my hair.

2. i could be snuggling with my sweetie.

3.i had brie cheese in the fridge and could make something the oozed deliciousness like the above photo.

late night desires abound.

i promise that i'll stop writing about the same thing...

2010-07-08T21:30:00.001-07:00

after this post. i know i've been on a brave woman kick recently. it's my thing that past few weeks.

point being today i found out that a woman i've been working with has taken gigantic steps to get out of a dangerous situation. she is strong, and brave, and did not give up. she took the small pieces of hope in her life and did something monumental.

so here is to holding onto something small and beautiful and making an offering with it.

photocredit: {squamartworkshops}

*by the way Squam Art Workshops= BECCA CRUSH...more on this later...

the only thing i know

2010-07-07T13:04:00.000-07:00

i dedicated myself earlier this year to exploring the concept of bravery. i have been thinking a lot about what it means to live thoughtfully, yet tenaciously and what it means to take the small and sometimes invisible steps towards a life lived boldly. yesterday marked the birthday of frida kahlo: mexican painter, cultural icon, and personal inspiration to yours truly.

i know that it is cliche to carry around frida paraphernalia. frida kahlo is to young female aspiring artisans and hipsters what hillary clinton has been to a generation of politicas. it is a cliche that i'm willing to embrace because for as long as i've loved art, i've loved frida kahlo.

i am drawn to her use of color and symbolism, but primarily i am fascinated by her obsession with the self. it is bold to make any piece of art. it takes a certain gumption and abandon to perceive, feel, and then respond through creation. however, i find that it is even more brave to recreate images of the self. frida's long term partner diego's revolution was on the streets; frida's revolution existed within her soul and body. it is brave to struggle and to look deeply within yourself and then even more flagrant to then share the raw internal truth with the world.

i do not love frida because she is a superior painter to others of her generation. i do not love her because she suffered and indeed i wish that her life had been full of sweetness. i love her because she was brave. i love her because she took what was graceful and what was awkward; she took what was broken and divine to reflect and transform herself.

frida said, "I paint my own reality. The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration."

happy birthday frida. thank you for living boldly in your own reality...

it's a beautiful thing.

images:{fridakahlo}

channeling

2010-07-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

it was a wonderful three day weekend. i stretched out in a hammock and ate peaches. then i played bingo. it geriatric luxury.

tomorrow i'm speaking to some people who do amazing work in my community. i'm excited and nervous so i'm thinking about one of my world inspirations zainab salbi. she believes in community and individual growth, justice, cultural preservation, and she is tenaciously confident.

i'm hoping to channel her tomorrow!

cook and photographer crush

2010-06-26T19:25:00.001-07:00

ree drummond, creator of both the drinks and their photo documentation on my profile. thank you for your fabulous work ree!

girl crush

2010-06-26T18:43:00.001-07:00

a friend asked me who my girl crush is today. i have three. i cannot decide definitively. what do you think?

edwidge danticat, fierce and graceful writer from Haiti
emma thompson, nefarious creature and brilliant performer
juliette binoche, beauty, plain beauty

Butter Tea: Tea for Tibet

2010-06-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'll take my tea with some yak butter and salt please.

In the mountainous regions of Tibet, Bhutan, and Southern China communities do not fill their tea cups with cream and sugar, but rather rich yak butter and sea salt. As many as 40 cups a day can be consumed.

This tea has become a cultural stronghold. It is what people serve when they have guests. It is how families share morning and evening time together. It is ritualistic and served at major events such as religious festivals, weddings, births, namings, and funerals.

It is a lovely ritual, but when I first heard about this practice I have to admit that I thought, "why butter?" I then answered myself, "Silly girl, butter makes all things better. Perhaps the question that the western world must ask itself in relation to our tea drinking practices is: why not butter?" Yes truly, why not butter?

Butter is: delicious, creamy, soft, and full of calories. For many families living in the Butter Tea Belt of Southern Asia this beverage provides a significant number of their daily calories needed for high altitude living. It also conveniently protects against cracking and chapped lips.

It would be quite an experience to sit down to a steaming cup of butter tea. I hope that someday I'll journey to Bhutan and partake.

When in doubt it is generally safe to say that whatever ails your spirit will be at least temporarily eased if you throw some butter on it!

photocredit:{hewy, butter tea vessels, neil }

a swamp cooler

2010-06-24T21:02:00.000-07:00

hello world,

it's night time. i'm typing in rhythm with the consistent burbling hum of the swamp cooler. a swamp cooler, for those of you who live in places where the humidity surpasses the intense percentage of 10%, is an alternative to an air conditioner. it lives on our roof. it is a strange shade of olive. it evaporates air and does something magical to it in the bowels of my house turning it into a delicious cool stream. it uses virtually no electricity.

i am not someone who is enamored of gadgets. i try to be, but i'm not. however, the swamp cooler has won my heart.

thank you swamp cooler for changing my life. when you call my answer will always be, "yes please!"

oops it's june

2010-06-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

hello all,

i've been quite mia this spring. apologies. it's been a whirlwind season of friendship, food, idea generating at the workplace, healing, and a touch of love. i have been undergoing some health issues of late and it's affirming for me all my wisdom guru people have been sharing for years:

it's okay to slow down, being sick can make you understand your body in a more profound way, being quiet is important sometimes, flowers are restorative in every season, people fuel my soul, and an eternal piece of wisdom: honey is medicine.

it is now summer. it is the longest day of they year and i am so excited to eat pasta, drink cold water, and watch the sun set.

hope everyone is in proximity to something interesting or beautiful at this very moment.

photocredit: {Yolshin}

a bird flew in and perched on me

2010-04-29T07:07:00.000-07:00

this morning i woke up to snow again. it is that wet sleety snow that sticks on the petals of my crimson tulips. it is lovely and bizarre. this LA girl wants to know when snow ends, but it's not for me to know. the foothills of the rocky mountains teach me a lot about embracing surprise in the midst of total confusion.

hopefully a morsel of serendipity comes and sits in your lap today.

photocredit: {hollandkerker}

xoxo

2010-04-28T18:17:00.000-07:00

this past weekend i had a birthday shindig. it was lovely. i especially appreciated birthday smooches!

love story

2010-04-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i am spending saturday night at home i like to play some turtle island string quartet and have a nice cold beer. i open my journal, sketch book, or blog page and begin dreaming. there is something very nice about saturday nights spent inside. i conjure up travel plans, book writing project plans, and think about all the adventures that i may or may not have some day.

tonight i'm thinking about a project a coworker and i want to do about families that live in low income motels. i am wondering what it is like for a child to grow up in a motel community with all of the unique experiences and hardships that such a living environment provides.

i am thinking about how much i admire many of the children we work with and how they walk through the hardest of circumstances with such resilience and creativity.

i would certainly like to be that brave.

photocredit: {jacksonville}

i cursed spring

2010-04-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

two days ago i wrote that spring had definitively arrived. the next morning it began to snow. the precipitation whipped around us in an icy, windy flurry and i spent most of the morning worrying about my daffodils and whether or not they could make it through another late spring snow storm.

never be so arrogant as to assume that you can say anything definitive about the colorado weather. this is the lesson i keep learning.

i must:

dress in layers
delight in the moment
always have shoes in the car for snow
never wear paper thin cotton dresses without jackets...even in august

colorado keeps me on my toes.

photocredit: {daryllhunter}

naughty blogger installment two: chaps

2010-04-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

i love chaps. i am from los angeles so i'm not sure how this happened, but it did.

and there you go. on that note...

good night moon, hello pillow. sleep tight world.

photocredit: {thelovelypioneerwoman}

their names on the soles of my shoes

2010-04-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

today i spoke with my friends. we are greek. niki, my friend is getting married soon. i cannot wait to see her commit to living life with an incredible person. they bring the world a lot as individuals and as a pair.

nikki just bought her wedding shoes. they are emerald and satin and enchanting. tonight lars, her betrothed, is out of town. she sat down with her shoes, a big glass of wine, amos lee, and a sharpie. it was the night to write the names of the single women most important to her on the bottom of her shoes.

greek girls do this when getting married. legend has it the names that are worn off by the end of the night will find love soon and those whose names remain on the shoes need to exercise patience. niki and i have never liked this tradition. it's like really? is this actually what we're doing. so if i'm single i get to live on the bottom of your shoe? my destiny is tied up in your ability to properly scuff up your heels? i object.

niki called me wondering if it was ridiculous to write on her shoe. we discussed the cultural merits and how tradition in and of itself adds a lovely dimension to any ritualized celebration. we talked about how she'd like to not have her wedding be about creating a sense of marital urgency among her friends and family.

as we were talking about this seemingly unimportant topic, i began to think about the bottoms of shoes. perhaps it is fitting to write our best friends' names on the bottom of our shoes. it is hard to cover up the wear on the bottom of the shoe. bottoms of shoes don't lie. maybe it is where best friends belong. it is the people who love us the most that walk with us through the toughest patches, that dance with us all night, and that bring us the drive and energy to get up and keeping on getting on. they are the keepers of our stories and the honesty meter. best friends hold our stories; they wear our life scars and reflect them back to us when we need a reminder to not make another poor decision, or to show us how far we've come and how resilient we really are.

i am not getting married soon like niki, but i may write the names of the people dearest to me on the bottoms of my favorite pair of shoes. it has nothing to do with the potential of my friends finding love or not finding love and everything to do with the fact that through them i've learned how to love in a more profound fashion. they, like the bottoms of my shoes, have seen my path and bear the marks of my decisions, both the asinine and enlightened ones and then all that live between. we hold each others' stories.

loved ones belong in the heart and mind, but perhaps also on the bottoms of our shoes where rubber hits the road.

photocredit: {etchedstudio}

naughty blogger

2010-04-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

i have been a naughty blogger recently. i've dropped the ball. the border of winter and spring is always an odd time of year for me. i go into hibernation mode and spend lots of time reading and making soup and cleaning. i nest for spring.

i am afraid to say it and have another snow storm blow through and disprove me, but i'll be bold.

spring is here. it is gloriously here. the trees are budding. i stood in my yard barefoot today and let my toes sink into the frigid soft earth.

thank you winter for bowing out. you've been striking and transformative, but this girl needs her some warmer weather.

photocredit: {emily brigid}

gratitude

2010-03-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

have you ever been profoundly grateful to someone that you do not know? a friend sent me a chain email relating to this question. it made me think about all the people who have impacted my life who i do not know.

the people that most immediately came to mind are paramedics. i have a profound love of paramedics. when i was quite young my mother almost died. in fact she did technically die, but the paramedics revived her. although i was a small child, i remember them. i still cannot think of these unsung heroes without an overwhelming sense of appreciation and feeling.

thank you paramedics today and always.

photocredit: {bryan warman}

holy family of yum

2010-03-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

if you are anywhere in the front range and suffering from the cold and a sweet tooth like i am i suggest you gather all these ingredients. whip them, brew them, grate them, melt them, blend them, drink them.

it is an absolute remedy for what ails you. i promise.

*Ingredients: coffee, cream, kahlua, carmel. Oh my.

photocredit: {thelovelyreedrummond}

root down, rise up

2010-03-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

good morning duckies,

i am sitting at my office taking in the snow. it's coming down again and this california sunshiney girl is wondering: when does the snow stop? is march not spring? apparently it is not. yet in my garden my daffodils are beginning to bloom and their fresh green shoots wear little white capped bonnets this morning. we've entered metamorphosis time and i'm making a little cocoon of my big chunky red sweater. it's a year to grow my patience skills

little tidbits that are making this long winter a bit brighter:

mango juice for the lips
the promise of my favorite flower
the knowledge that i'm on the path to becoming an advanced practice nurse midwife. this is a fact that brings me much joy.
bobo's oat bars...my new snack obsession
time reading at stellas, a most beloved coffee shop.
practicing photography and appreciating this amazing photography website

photocredit: {blamstur}

i spy...

2010-03-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

something so endearing. this artist, sophie blackall, illustrates the missed connection adds in the nyc craigslist. what a fun idea...

have you had any notable missed connections recently?

spring is springing and i'm returned

2010-03-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

hello all,

apologies for my recent poor blogging skills. i've been handling some health issues and taking some very fun trips. i shall post pictures soon.

i woke up this morning and the daffodils in my yard were coming up. this will be my first spring spent outside of california and i cannot wait for the radical shift in seasons. a flower is so much more lovely when it is taking the place of an ice encrusted plot of dirt, is it not?

oh spring, in this year of transition, you mean so much.

photocredit: {dullard}

bday boogie down

2010-03-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

today one of my dearest friends turns 25. he lives many states away, but i am very confident in his ability to fully boogie down on his bday...

in honor of his bday, one of his favorite quotes that i love:

Since my house burned down
I now own a better view
Of the rising moon
- Masahide

a little tom robbins please

2010-03-02T11:36:00.000-08:00

i've been reflecting on this quote a friend sent me today. i go back and forth about my love for tom robbins. today is an up day.

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."
-tom robbins

photocredit: {the lovely nina of naturally nina and her fiance saying i love you old school chalkboard style. the amazing meredith documented their connection. what a lovely photo}

Love and the Tea Leaf: Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony

2010-03-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

for the next chapterette of our tea story project i want to highlight the Chinese wedding tea ceremony. it is such a beautiful custom and rich with symbolism. the preparation, presentation, artistry, symbolism, and communal nature of this custom signify many tenants of what i perceive strong partnerships and unions to be all about.

although the ceremony manifests in many ways throughout the global Chinese diaspora, certain pieces of it seem consistent. the tea ceremony is rooted in the cultural belief and regional norm that tea is as much a part of everyday life as breathing or eating. sharing tea is a way to show respect and create bonds.

Chinese emperor Shen Nong (2737 B.C.) was said to be a scholar and herbalist. he adhered to a strict regimen of drinking boiling water each day to promote health. it is said that once while resting under the shade of a camelia bush his servant was boiling his tea and in the process camelia leaves and flowers dropped into the water. the magic of tea was born. Emperor Sen Nong was so taken with the aroma and the taste that he kept experimenting with various tea configurations and ultimately decided that tea has strong medicinal properties. he promoted it throughout his royal court as well as throughout his empire. tea has progressively become more and more a part of the various subcultures existing within the vast country of China.

many types of tea can be used during the wedding, but a consistent element is what is served in the tea. tea is generally taken plain in many regions of China, but during a weddings lotus seeds and sweet dates are placed in the piping hot drink. the seeds and dates represent fertility and the bride and groom drink the cups of tea that contain these delicacies. inherent in this ritual is an understanding that growing a family is an important tenant of marriage. many families in more modern times re frame these symbols and use the seeds and dates to represent their ever growing love and growth as a couple.

the wedding tea ceremony is also about respect and gratitude. the bride and groom serve tea to their parents and other elders in the group after the wedding. the bride stands to the left generally and the groom to the right as they pour tea for their family. the act of carefully pouring out the tea and handing it over is meant to communicate, "we are beginning our own family, but recognize that you have given us your all and we are here because of you. this is a day about us, but it is also a day about you. we are simultaneously creating a new family and uniting two existing families."

in the era of bridezilla and the mega-wedding it is refreshing to think about a nuptial ritual that is humble. although i am not married and thus can only posit speculations about what it means to join your life with someone else, i would like to think that ideally a wedding is about bringing two friends who love each other deeply together, but it is also about bringing their communities together. marriages need support; love contains high emotion and receiving affection is certainly a part of any healthy relationship, but it is also about servanthood in its best manifestation.

when people come together to intentionally become a community they often break bread together. in the case of the Chinese wedding ceremony they take tea together.

family, friends, vows, food, music,and a dollop of gratitude through the symbol of tea...what a lovely way to start a marriage.

the color of edgar allan poe's pajamas

2010-03-02T09:22:00.000-08:00

good morning all,

this weekend i made my way up to gunnison with a friend. he introduced me to the magic of the western slope. highlights from the weekend were, but are not limited to:

a. the incredible natural and frigid beauty
b. the wonderful people i met
c. realizing that although i may be uncoordinated on skis, i really love cross country skiing
d. the delicious meals that i ate and the mimosas i drank
e. the many, many hours spent in bed resting and sleeping. i have paid many people's sleep debts this weekend. you're welcome world.
f. the wonderful and ever changing color of the of the gunnison sky. it was astounding and humbled me in that enchanting "it's nice to be small in this big world way".

photocredit: {ree drummond and jasper tandy}

season of the sweater

2010-02-25T19:26:00.000-08:00

so tomorrow i'm taking a mini-trip after work to the mountains. i am going deep into the mountains. the town i'm traveling to is colder than any other US city outside of Alaska. i'm excited and i'm nervous because for me growing up a cardigan was considered proper winter attire. the friend that is taking me told me to bring my warmest clothing. i held myself back and didn't say, so you mean i should bring plaid cotton throw over sweatershirt that i got at forever 21 for 6 bucks. warmest piece of clothing. i have scrambled and borrowed. i shall look like a raggamuffin quilt for my weekend away.

i'm so excited as taking trips is potentially my favorite thing to do. i'll keep you posted and put up pictures later this weekend...

photocredit: {melissamaple}

wonderful world wednesdays: dr. david benke of deer creek school

2010-02-24T09:19:00.001-08:00

this morning i want to recognize a local hero. i feel pretty strongly about the fact that teachers are heroes everyday. it takes a certain kind of patience, enthusiasm, dedication, and spirit to teach children. my mother is a teacher and a few of the most significant people in my life teach or have been teachers. it takes a servant heart to teach and i think it is one of the most difficult, yet lovely callings around.

this wednesday, february 24th, i want to acknowledge a teacher that exhibited a bravery and selflessness that should not go unacknowledged. yesterday a mentally ill man opened fire at deer creek middle school, which is located in my town. it is also located down the street from Columbine High School, which is the school at which one of the worst school shootings in our country's history happened. our county is located on the eastern slope and front range of the rocky mountains. it is a county that represents communities of extreme wealth and extreme poverty and currently has the fastest rising rate of childhood poverty in the nation. it is a demographically diverse and complex region.

the shooter entered the school property and asked students if they attended deer creek. when they answered that they did he began shooting. two students suffered gun shot wounds. one of them has been released, but the other is in critical condition. doctors are saying that he should make it. it is miraculous given the fire arm power and the nature of the situation that no one died. our community is up in arms and grieving today.

no other students were shot in large part because of the heroism of dr. david benke. dr. benke is a math teacher at the middle school and he tackled the shooter while he was reloading his weapon. he said that he did not really have time to think; he just did it. i believe that generally acts of bravery manifest in this way. we usually cannot plan the times where we are going to step up and be brave. such an act of selflessness wells up inside someone and just happens. in the face of this horrific and traumatic event i find a lot of hope in the fact that there are people who will sacrifice their own well being for the sake of others. it reminds me that we are all in community together. protecting others is noble.

keep the victims, the other students, and the shooter in your thoughts. the man who fired the shots is at trial already this morning. he has a history of deep mental illness and a history of being unable to secure the proper medication to treat his illness. what this man did is horrific, yet just as dr. benke protected the students and faculty of deer creek so might we be compelled to protect the mentally ill and their victims through securing proper long term treatment for those who suffer from mental illness.

so many, many thanks to you dr. benke. you are a hero everyday in your teaching and were especially significant in the lives of many students and teachers yesterday!

beauty of a barn dance

2010-02-23T09:45:00.001-08:00

good morning duckies,

hope everyone is enjoying this tuesday. here in denver we are experiencing a freezing, but sunny day. i am on my fifth cup of tea and am contemplating another because i just got an full bodied rooibos tea full of vanilla nuttiness. yum.

i thought how nice it would be to be enveloped in live music dancing. i would especially like it if i were dancing in a barn. these are the things i think about as i wait for my case notes to print on chilly tuesday mornings.

where would you go if you could transport anywhere right now?

photocredit: {oncewed}

samantha grace: lovenote #7

2010-02-22T19:39:00.000-08:00

my dear friend had her baby this weekend. samantha grace entered the world on february 19th around 2am. she is lovely and i cannot help but think about how amazing it is that families grow and that new people enter the world everyday.

it is astounding and breathtaking. welcome samantha grace; we hope you have a beautiful life! you are very loved by your family...

photocredit: {theproudparents}

little better...

2010-02-22T19:23:00.000-08:00

i hope everyone had a lovely weekend. mine was full of friends, surprises, dancing, and music. i'm taking a night to rest, reflect, and chill out.

i've been thinking a lot about how important it is to spend time with friends. there is little better in the world than deep sleep, delicious food, good music, and laughing with friends who really care about you.

what did you all do this weekend?

dear tuesday,

2010-02-16T07:55:00.000-08:00

i woke up with an unreasonable request. i would like a horse. i now live in a part of colorado where it would not be wholly ridiculous to have one. i have always wanted to wake up and go out to a stable and care for a horse. in reality my sleepy tendencies might make this daily care taking ritual a burden, but i like to imagine that it would be something gratifying and enchanting...

i hope that she will be auburn and copper in color. i will name her abby.

photocredit: {pioneerwoman}

love note #6: a message to our hands and feet

2010-02-15T14:03:00.000-08:00

happy monday loveday. i spent this valentine's day with a smattering of some of the most significant people in my life. they are my solid ground. i don't have a story about two people today, but some musings on love in action inspired by my circle.

i have a number of people in my life that struggle with body issues and love issues. it is hard in our busy lives to feel grounded and full. in the wake of many discussions about flaws and worries, i started thinking about things that i love about my friends and who they are in the world. i started thinking about what their hands, feet, and hearts do everyday.

i love that i have people in my life that use their hands to serve other people, whether it be through advocacy, medicine, music making, teaching, cooking, or providing wild gestures of humor...

i so appreciate that i have friends that use their feet to walk in this world in a way that is mindful about environmental justice. i appreciate that their feet take them into all sorts of new experiences that they then share with me. i'm constantly being transported around our country and world through their stories...

i value that my people have good hearts and that they express their ideas and ideals in a variety of fascinating ways...

photocredit: {saraheinrich}

taxis and schwarma and kisses, oh my!

2010-02-15T13:23:00.000-08:00

happy monday all,

this past weekend i headed to dc and nyc to visit some of my very dearest friends. i will post more on specifics later, but the highlights of the weekend were:

a. seeing my beautiful friends' faces
b. the amazing snow in dc...i have to admit that i thought it was overblown since i live in denver and have a false sense of weather savvy. it was amazing and all news stories about the blizzard are now personally confirmed.
c. the delicious food smells of the new york city streets
d. watching couples take little moments in the midst of nyc hustle and bustle to appreciate each others' lips...

photocredit: {amberalves}

ode to awkwardness

2010-02-06T20:37:00.001-08:00

when living in south africa my friend and i had a wonderful afternoon of swimming, running, 80's dancing, and awkward posing for silly pictures. i love days of reckless abandon, don't you? so good for the heart...

activate the sage

2010-02-06T15:54:00.001-08:00

happy weekend...

sorry i have not been a good bloggerette this week. it's been a stretch of days that has worn me out. it's nothing big just a bunch of little feathers that have fallen on me and have collectively become heavy. i've had a lack of creativity this week. to combat the doldrums and activate the sage i will:

a. make a honey and pumpkin face mask
b. take a walk around one of the many lakes surrounding my town
c. make kale chips and bread
d. do all my laundry
f. listen to spanish guitar with a lare glass of wine
g. go on a friend date with one of my lovelies

yes that should do the trick...

the sassy seventies

2010-02-03T10:03:00.000-08:00

good morning duckies,

i really like watching older people who are in love. i hope to one day join the ranks of the sappy elderly. this morning i overheard a couple in their late 70s having a little chat. i have changed names, but it needed to be shared.

bob:"it's boring today. entertain me. do what you did last night."
judy:" bob! i can't do that here. i didn't bring my whip."
bob: "that's too bad judy. i surely do like that whip."
judy: "oh bob, put a lid on it."

keeping it fresh even in their 70s...all i could think was, YES.

photocredit: {kellyandchet}

love note#5: farmers' market and editing

2010-02-01T17:42:00.001-08:00

this monday i'd like to dedicate monday loveday's post to my father. when i was growing up every tuesday morning he would go to our local farmer's market and buy us fresh flowers. we lived in inner-city Los Angeles and were neighbors with one of the largest highways on the west coast. anything living and bright was significant.

we would wake up to flowers and to a poem needing editing. my father is one of the better writers i know and instilled in me a love of words and rhythm in language. i look back so lovingly on those mornings. i would sit and eat toast, drink tea, take in the flowers, and edit his writing.

do you have memories with your family that are particularly significant?

she plays the pianoforte very ill

2010-02-01T14:47:00.000-08:00

this describes my ability to play piano to a tea. however starting today i am committed to learning the great pianforte. my dear coworker will be teachign me in exchange for baked goods. i cannot wait. i will keep you posted as i think this promises to be a journey full of awkward mishaps and marvelous breakthroughs!

dear winter mornings,

2010-01-29T08:14:00.000-08:00

i like the way you've escalated my love for my bed,
i think that the way you frost my window is magical,
you teach me that freshly fallen snow does have a smell and that it's delightful,
you justify my new teapot and you always are better with michael frantimorning music.
you make me want to snuggle.
winter mornings, in spite all my predictions, i find you charming...

photocredit: {macrorain}

bombshell birthing

2010-01-28T14:58:00.000-08:00

my friend amelia is going to give birth in march. her belly is growing more round and magical everyday. we set a small pot of flowers on her and were delighted to find out that it did not fall off. she is her own mantelpiece!

amelia has decided that there is no reason to go into the birthing room afraid or somber. she will be wearing a red feather boa. i love this. she'll be huffin' and puffin' with sass...

here's to bombshell birthing!

photocredit: {aidanlove}

time travel birthday

2010-01-27T08:48:00.000-08:00

it is my wonderful younger cousin alexandra's birthday. today she turns 23, which is amazing since i remember her third birthday. it involved swimming with mermaids. this is an experience burned into my brain for life.

i wish that it was possible to give the gift of time travel. as a present i would take alexandra back to the moment when this picture was taken of our yiayia. we would have a birthday picnic and spend the afternoon talking about life and laughing. we miss our yiayia's voice.

so happy birthday dear one; here's to a miniholiday in jamaica plains boston year 1949!

Gee's Bend Quilters Collective

2010-01-27T07:50:00.000-08:00

Mary Lee Bendolph and Ruth P. Mosely

good morning duckies,

i hope everyone has an aromatic cup of coffee or tea preparing you for the battle against the midweek slump. i am sipping rooibos and thinking about the fact that one of my childhood friends will be getting married this spring. i have been contemplating making them a quilt as a wedding present. there is a collection of quilts that have particularly intrigued and inspired me.

for this week's wonderful world work i'd like to acknowledge the Gee's Bend Quilters. Gee's Bend is a small and rural community nestled in the depths of Alabama. it was founded during antebellum times and has traditionally been a very impoverished and low-resourced community. for many years the people of Gee's Bend lived without much recognition. very few people had access to the rich and creative Gee's Bend quilting culture. although the quilters did not have an endless supply of fabric, they were able to create some of the most renowned North American pieces of textile art.

Louisiana Bendolph

right around the year 2000 the quilts gained international acclaim when multiple museums in the US introduced them into their temporary galleries. the new york times called the quilts, "some of the most miraculous works of modern art America has produced." the Gee's Bend Quilters Collective is dedicated to producing unique and artful quilts, using the proceeds of their sales to give their community more resources and access to opportunities, and to sharing the history of Gee's Bend quilting.

Mary Lee Bendolph and Ruth P. Mosely

these quilts stand on their own artistic merit. they carry the stories of a people often overlooked and disenfranchised due to their socio-economic and racial background. they speak to resilience and collective nature of a community. they speak to the marriage of functionality and aesthetics. these quilts and the quilters that made and continue to make them are examples of how even when resources are scarce it is more than possible to create something of true beauty.

photocredit: {treat}

Eshahid:Tuareg Tea Service

2010-01-26T17:25:00.000-08:00

the Taureg are a nomadic people that live in the Tenéré desert of northeast Niger. tea is often painted as a drink for cold weather countries. although the Tuareg live in the desert, they have a rich culture of tea.

tea is taken systematically and ritually throughout the day. it marks the beginning and end of each meal. it is taken with family and new friends. it is a prerequisite when courting and the Tuareg people drink a round of tea before sleeping.

eshahid, the tuareg tea service, involves green tea, mint, and sugar. it is a three stage process; three pots of tea are consumed from each bunch of tea leaves. the first round is said to be bitter like life. the second round is sweet like love due to the added sugar. the third and final round is light, like "the breath of death".

making tea is an art form among the Tuareg people. those who make tea well are the matriarchs and patriarchs of the community. they become the foreign diplomats to any visitors, ushering them into the unique cultural practices of the Tuareg people.

the Tuareg call eshahid the friend of conversation. tea is a crucial part of their cultural heritage and practice.

i hope to one day be able to partake in Tuareg tea...

photocredit: {swiatoslawwojtkowiak}

tea bag wisdom

2010-01-26T14:26:00.001-08:00

i am drinking a glass of yogi tea. it is promising to work many miracles for me like clarifying my skin, detoxing my liver, stimulating my brain waves, making me an excellent dancer, and other important life things...

mostly i am just enjoying the lemony aroma and bittersweet flavor. its tea bag just caught my eye. it says:

"be proud of who you are."

yes please. i'll have my tea with a helping of that.

photo credit: {Smoochiemomatpioneerwoman}

kefi

2010-01-25T21:36:00.001-08:00

it is near impossible to top the experience of walking into a kitchen to the aroma of baking bread, browning garlic, and freshly washed basil. when cooking i experience an unadulterated joy. when cooking with friends i am at peace. any stress can be whipped into submission with the flick of a whisk. some of my favorite gifts have been recipes given to me by loved ones.

i am greek american and we use the word "kefi" to describe the spirit and joy of life. it essentially means the za za zoom in each of us. the practice of growing and making food, as much as love making, is full of kefi. in honor of my admiration for all things culinary and my dedication to living a life full of kefi i wanted to post my favorite tzatziki recipe. this spread is delicious on bread or vegetables and can be eaten solo as well.
enjoy duckies!

YiaYia's Tzatziki
2 cups Greek yogurt
1 long cucumber, peeled and grated
4 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed (or finely grated)
Juice of 1/2 lemon, or more according to taste
1 Tbsp chopped parsley
Pinch of fresh oregano
2 to 3 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper, to taste
Mix it all together and opa!

photocredit: {latartinegourmande}

love note #4: mittens and plantains

2010-01-25T12:11:00.000-08:00

today began normally. i got coffee, my "healthy" donut, and began seeing clients. about an hour ago a woman whose family came to the US as refugees from the Middle East walked in the building with two very timid looking children. one had his arm in a cast and his older sister flocked over him using shockingly maternal body language for such a small and clearly young girl.

the adult with them came to the desk and told us that she had just taken these Haitian orphans into her home and would be adopting them within the year. our whole front desk made this collective sigh in response. it was the noise you make when you recognize both pain and beauty tightly woven together. it was the sound you make when you don't really know what to say, but wish to communicate that you are listening and that you understand behind this simple trip to a center for winter basics there is a story not easily told.

the children were given mittens, coats, boots and all the things that children living in and near the Rockies need. i could not help but watch the way each child interacted with the lobby. the older sister kept a close watch on her little brother and did not remove the scarf tied to her head that draped down almost covering her left eye. the little boy's eyes practically leapt from his face when the loudspeaker would blast out a client name and number. he touched his uninjured hand to his mouth as he tried to click out English sounds over enunciating each syllable. English to their Haitian creole ears must must sound harsh and percussive. Haitian creole flows; it is a language full of water.

as they were leaving one of the counselors went into the food bank and gifted the family an order of plantains. the girl looked up from her brother and grinned. she held the plantains a bit like a baby. she pointed at the fruit and whispered something to her brother. they giggled and leaned down to smell her bundle. in a world devastated a familiar food comes to mean a lot.

they left the center and people kept saying how amazing it is that they were adopted and out of the mess that is their home country. i had a bittersweet taste in my mouth. on one hand this adoption is a beautiful thing. they will have so many opportunities here and the orphanages in Haiti are overcrowded.however i cannot shake the reality that 13 days ago these children woke up in their home in port-au-prince. 13 days ago they had parents. 13 days ago they lived within the smells, cultural practices, and daily rituals of Haiti. 13 days ago they had concrete identities. now they are in small town Colorado. it must be like dreaming awake.

i can only hope that some of Colorado's natural beauty and the kind Coloradan people will make this transition easier for them. i can only hope that they will hold their culture and memories close to their hearts and that they will tell each other stories about the family they lost. sometimes when people have so many pieces of their identity ripped away they get to grow the aspects of their person that they still have control over. i hope for them that their bond as brother and sister grows and that each of them with their serious yet inquisitive eyes grow as learners and explorers. they are brave. in spite of all the pain inherent in their situation it made me glad to see them sharing secrets and thoughts about plantains and laughing together in this strange new life. theirs is a true love.

photocredit: {JHarp242}

sweetie pie mornings

2010-01-25T07:50:00.000-08:00

confession, i love old fashioned doughnuts. there is a bakery on my way to work. i stop there to "get coffee" or on my better days to "get tea", but generally i come away with something donning a glaze.

i generally pretend i don't like doughnuts. then when i see old fashioned doughnuts i think, "these are unique and retro. these doughnuts are old fashioned. that must mean healthy, right?"
oh dear, i am easily manipulated by food marketing rhetoric.

what are your sweet indulgences?

deep in the bones

2010-01-22T09:45:00.000-08:00

sometimes on friday mornings i like to linger in dream land. this morning i woke up early, drew the curtains so i could see the sunrise,put on some william primrose, and got back into bed. william primrose plays the viola with the simple artistry of a pastry chef. each small movement is significant and every time the bow brushes the strings i forget why language is crucial and understand why in the face of all things logical i love a well crafted poem.

i grew up playing viola and although i'm quite amateur delight in the resonating tones of this unique instrument. i love words, but the viola's songstress powers silence me. the notes of the viola live deep in my bones.

photocredit: {mourner'sphotos}

a sweet night

2010-01-20T21:29:00.000-08:00

jane austen wrote, "there's nothing like staying home for real comfort."

tonight i channeled austen and made myself decadent hot chocolate.

jane austen is, as i've always expected her to be, an endless font of wise tidbits...

photocredit: {pioneerwoman}

glory of the sky

2010-01-20T10:19:00.001-08:00

confession: change is one of the hardest things for me to theoretically grasp. once a major transition happens i find myself quickly going with the flow and planting new roots and embracing new experiences. it is the anticipation of change that can overwhelm.

i was reflecting on sunrises and sunsets, inspired by a post at the lovely pioneerwomanblog. i cannot think of a more poignent symbol of change than dawn or dusk. there is a breathtaking beauty inherent in the passing of time.

photocredit: {becca ann, 2Kool4U, munroe photography, AS photography}

wonderful world wednesdays: Maria Gunnoe

2010-01-20T07:43:00.000-08:00

good morning all,

today i'd like to take a moment to honor Maria Gunnoe. she is a real live coal miner's daughter born and raised in the Appalachian region of west virginia. her community has been disproportionately impacted by mountain top removal mining. not only has this practice degraded the physical landscape, but impacts the environmental health of the community as dangerous debris from the mining pollutes the watershed.

she was part of taking one of the mining corporations to court and the forced construction of a valley for the purposes of mining. over 60 residents initially were part of the case, but after many threats from the mining companies Gunnoe was the sole resident to testify. the courts ruled against the mining company.

Gunnoe continues her community activism in the face of threats on her life. she received one of the prestigious goldman environmental prizes for 2009. she is a true advocate for the beautiful and mystical Appalachian landscape and for her people.

doesn't she have the warmest smile?

photocredit: {goldmanprizesite}

good like bread

2010-01-19T23:14:00.001-08:00

this phrase is significant in my family and my best friend's family. it essentially means to be someone who is warm, nurturing, and down to earth.

my wonderful friend gifted me one of the most beautiful gifts i have ever received. she hand etched a glass for me (yes she is highly gifted!). it was engraved with, "good like bread"...

this photo does not do it justice as the glass also has incredible dandelions. is there anything better than a heartfelt gift from someone who means so much?

very little is better.

tea story project

2010-01-19T11:38:00.000-08:00

good morning lovelies,

i have an inordinate love of tea. thus i have decided to dedicate a little nook of surreptitiously cinnamon to exploring the stories and rituals that surround tea worldwide.

i will be sending out a new story about tea each week. if you have tea stories please send them in and i'll profile them.

my hope is that within the coming two years i will take a pilgrimage to all the countries and regions that have deeply embedded tea cultures...

photocredit: {leenda k}

love note #3: mark and molly

2010-01-17T20:46:00.000-08:00

i have known mark my whole life. this week he and his love decided that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. they are both musicians and from the looks of it are madly in love. how beautiful.

bloom

2010-01-17T16:14:00.000-08:00

one of my dearest friends has graced the rocky mountains with her presence. we spent the day exploring quaint mountain towns, noting the bizarre lack of signage in colorado, and enjoying one of my favorite denver eateries, the crushery.

we are now partaking in a lovely pot of blooming tea and some highly indulgent television...

yes for rest and relaxation...

luscious lips

2010-01-16T00:42:00.000-08:00

i have discovered the most lovely and luscious lip treatment by Fresh. this is a soft, sweet, and totally nourishing balm with a slight lemon sugar essence...yum.

so on that sweet and silly night good night day, good night moon, hello pillow...

photocredit: {Fresh}

sol

2010-01-15T13:28:00.000-08:00

i cannot emphasize the importance of sunshine. winter doldrums are almost always healed up by the lovely mountain sun.

what do you all do when the winter months start getting oppressive?

photo: my lovely kim

concept of joostiness

2010-01-15T10:43:00.001-08:00

so last year my housemates, the extraordinary bryan and annie, and i started receiving mail for the previous tenants of our oakland apartment. they were sisters and their last name was joost.

the received many things and we began to construct an elaborate story about their life and particular social demographic. we were postal anthropologists. we also clearly are people who had a touch too much time on our hands.

so as we kept receiving mail the term joosty was born.

photocredit: shamlessly stolen from anthropologie.

the rough definition (because having a concrete definition for this would not be joosty at all):

Joosty (j-u-s-t-e): to be a person who revels in all things yippie and urban. to appreciate urban warehouses and community gardens, but have a shocking love of expensive cuisine and anthropologie clothing. to live in quickly gentrifying neighborhoods and to care about disenfranchised people. to look like you have hand make everything in your life including your spices. to love death cab for cutie and farmers' markets.

joosty is the new juicy.